the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize