okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
