i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
