Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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