I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
