People with herpes should wear stickers.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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