What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think a kid would responsible me up
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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