She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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