nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
