i was born a porn star she said
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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