Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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