my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Panties = found
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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