My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
