shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
