ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize