i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
