We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
