he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
