Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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