dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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