your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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