Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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