Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
