I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
