fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
