So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
