tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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