Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
