I cockslap morals
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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