he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
