the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize