I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
