So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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