you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
