So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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