Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's Friday. Sex?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
