from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i think im in europe. pls send help
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
