Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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