the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
