jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
