ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
