you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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