dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
