You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
