At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
