the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize