I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
