Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
