The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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