You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
