so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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