he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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