dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
