then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just want to make out with him forever
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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