I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
