I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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