Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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