ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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