he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you had me at cake vodka
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
