I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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