and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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