Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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