and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
