WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
