I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
